Into Year 44

As I go into my 44^th year of life, I wanted to set down some random thoughts that I hope might resonate with the reader. I am sure I am not saying anything profound-and even for me some of these things are not profound-but if you haven’t encountered this “wisdom” yet, maybe it will help you as we continue to make our way through the new social paradigms we find ourselves in together.

10 thoughts for my birthday:

Perspective is the lesson – Time is the teacher.

I had a bit of a revelation last November when vacationing in New York and Canada, and it is the lesson I most wish I could have learned 30 years ago. But there was no way my teenaged self could have understood then what I understand now. Things change, and as they do change, perspective grows. Change only occurs over time.

You don’t know everything. I don’t know everything.

No one knows everything. I have to try to remember this every day. This is the one thing I do have the most certainty about. This serves to keep me grounded and open to accumulating new knowledge and wisdom.

Start and end your day with gratitude.

I try to remember this also-the gates to and from my waking world should have “Thank You for” written over them. This morning I am grateful that I am starting my 44^th year and when I go to bed I will be thankful for friends and family that care about this milestone.

Seek out new perspectives.

We go through our lives largely in one “reality tunnel” (our work and our family). Where possible, seek out the perspective of others to cultivate understanding and empathy, because we all live different lives, and we need to support those who are not as fortunate.

Ask for help when you need it, and offer to help when someone asks for it.

There is no shame in needing help. It makes the helper feel good about themselves to help others in need-it helps the one asking for help to feel cared for/listened to.

Your actions mean more than you might think they do. Passion and perspiration can get you quite far.

A huge recent lesson for me has been the realization that you can earn respect and trust in your profession without having advanced degrees, but just by being passionate and acting thoughtfully on that passion.

Accept all compliments with humility-accept all criticism with gratitude.

Still a hard one for me, but I am learning to get better at accepting praise with the proper amount of grace. I am lucky that when I am criticized it is done constructively and not in an attacking way.

Humor helps managing stressful times.

If you can laugh at something at least once a day, it helps.

Fear is strengthened when it isn’t addressed, and weakened when it is brought into the light.

Thanks to my family and my work, I have very few fears in my life. Fear absolutely grows and strengthens best in the dark, not talked about, and not confronted.

Tell those you love that you love them.

I try to be good about doing this when I write my long email updates to friends, and it still strange to say it (maybe a resolution for this year), but everyone likes the feeling that they are loved, and I do love you, my friends.

Stay healthy and stay safe for the year to come. I hope I will get to see you soon, one way or another.